You might have noticed that I’ve been sort of absent from my own business for a while now.
Where did I go, you ask?
Well, I put myself back inside a cage.
Have you ever wanted something with all your heart and been scared to death
to actually have it at the same time?
That’s what happened to me. After attending a life-changing workshop with my mentor in May, I had a zillion plans and ideas about where I wanted to take Practically Intuitive. I was locked and loaded (as they say) and ready to bust out!
And then the Universe decided to toss me a wee curve ball.
My husband got laid off from his job and went to that weird place we all go when something hits us unexpectedly. He was nervous and jangly, on edge all day even as he applied for jobs and networked his butt off.
Me? I was still brimming with confidence and complete trust in the Universe. I moved ahead with my plans of world domination.
‘Round about week 3 of his forced “vacation”, I began to take his energy on.
As an empath, I can do that a little too easily and though I fought it, I finally ended up in that scared, frustrated place he was inhabiting. Wanting to make him feel better, I said I’d check with my former place of employ to see if they had anything available (fingers crossed that they didn’t).
Of course they did! (Of course, right?)
And could I start, like, now? I cried when I told them yes because I knew it meant putting everything I’ve been working for on the back burner. But I wanted to show my husband that I was willing to step up when the time came to do that.
The position? The one from which I was laid off in 2012, working in an area called “the cage”. (So named because I handled big money and stock certificates and had to be in a secured area.)
What happened to my confidence? My plans? Could I carry a full-time job AND continue building my business? I had no idea. (Short answer: no)
As I struggled to do both jobs, it became clear that I just couldn’t do it. Either I surrendered to the day job and let Practically Intuitive (and me) go back to playing small OR I could gin up all my inner resources and announce I had to leave.
I felt like I was letting everyone down if I did what I knew in my heart I had to do. For someone who is a hardcore people-pleaser to stand up and say “I’m putting myself first” is enormously scary. So much so that I took myself into overwhelm and then apathy just so I didn’t have to deal with it.
Being a highly-conscious person does not make these things easier, I’m here to tell ya. I knew exactly what was going on inside myself as I swung back and forth about all of it. This, my friends, is where the true value of a coach comes in. Both my personal coach and my business mentor helped me stand in what I really wanted and to know that the world wouldn’t end if I turned in my notice.
“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
I did it. FINALLY! Even as my knees wobbled and my heart pounded, by saying “I have to go now”, I claimed my work (and myself) in the world.
And it took everything I had to do it.
What really happened?
In hindsight, it was clear that by setting the intention to be seen and take my business to the next level, I had ventured so far out of my comfort zone that I ended up putting myself back into the “safe” space I left two years ago. (I actually scared myself back into a cage. Yep. I sure did.)
Being willing and open to all the potential before you and up-leveling your business and your life is exhilarating AND scary as all hell! It pushes buttons you didn’t even know you had. Thing is, it happens to the best of us, in all kinds of ways. Your buttons will be different than mine but the challenge before you – to claim yourself and your work in this world – is the same.
I’m sharing all this so that you know I truly get the fears, the doubts and the big life changes that comes with the entrepreneurial journey. Having zero clue about said journey before I started Practically Intuitive. I can tell you that it’s not an easy one. (You know that.) But it IS rewarding in ways that feel almost indescribably good.
Yep, I’m back. Right here where I never wanted to leave.
Big things are coming in 2015!
Join me, won’t you?