My mom and I had a difficult relationship much of my life. I loved her dearly but she drove me crazy with her neediness and what I felt to be clinging on to me when all I wanted to do was just leave.
Only 15 when my dad died, I knew from that point on, I’d be her emotional caretaker.
Sensitive and easily hurt, my mom felt the slightest of slights on a really deep level. She was an empath through and through.
She died just seven months after my goddaughter in 2006 and I was so full of grief from Lauren’s leaving, it seemed there wasn’t room left for much with my mom. Mostly, I was glad that she was free from physical form because she had become trapped in a body that no longer functioned.
I loved my mom, though, despite all the weird stuff that went on in our relationship. I just didn’t pine for her the way many speak of missing their mom.
Until yesterday
As I was riding down the road, the Cyndi Lauper song “Time After Time” came on the radio. That was sort of our song because we used to watch MTV together back in the day.
In fact, I had it played for her at my wedding. The mom in the video for that song looked like her, I always thought, and the song really symbolized the bond we felt for each other.
“If you’re lost you can look and you will find me … time after time. If you fall I will catch you … time after time”
Now, I always think of her when I hear this song but something was different.
I could feel her presence there in the car with me.
And then I could feel my dad show up.
They both came together and joined my energy in the car. I’ve never had that experience before – and I started crying. It was like we all were one energy. Like a family again.
For the first time in almost seven years, I missed her.
I’m not sure why it took so long for me to feel her energy in this pure form but it was really beautiful. Clear, present and high vibration.
It was such a moving moment for me that words really can’t do it justice. Mostly, I’m surprised at how much I actually DO miss her now.
And thankful that I am able to feel her love again even across the energetic plane.
She’s showing up again for a reason (maybe it’s just to say hi but that powerful of an entrance makes me think there’s a wee bit more to it. Mysteries for another time, I suppose.) and my dad has been lurking around the edges too. There’s something for me in acknowledging that I am part of a family, of a lineage.
As I wrote in her eulogy, I am the best part of her and the best part of him. I am their legacy in this world.
I hope I do them both proud.
Sweet and touching story, G. Thank you for sharing your heart with us 🙂
Anni, this was one of those “Where did this post come from” things – it just rolled on out my fingers! Thanks for your comment! (HUGS)
Very cool experience! It hardly seems 7 years! I haven’t yet been able to sense anyone just by their energy, but from time to time I get songs – usually stuck in my head for a day or two – before I clue in to who is lurking. Wonder what they’re up to?
Marianne, we met right after Lauren passed away (at Regina’s) and then my mom died that November. Yes, 7 years just about. Time flies. I wonder what my ‘rents are up to as well. I’m sure I’ll find out (and share!).
Oh yeah, songs are big communication tools from the other side. I think because music carries its own vibration so you can feel that vibration (for better or worse) wherever you are. <3 thanks for your comment!
Oh, that’s lovely. I’m glad you two were able to reconnect – maybe she’s been doing some work over there and was finally ready for it too. Funny how things like that can happen in ordinary places like cars, isn’t it? I’ve had a few such experiences myself. 🙂
Hey Jen, yes, I suspect she has been doing some work on the other side because her communication (unlike my goddaughter’s) has been almost non-existent. She might just be ready to move to a different plane and let me in on the fun! (Thanks for your comment!)
What a wonderful feeling! So very happy for you, and curious to see what’s coming up.
As you know, my relationship with my mother wasn’t so fabulous either. But when I was in a hypnosis session a few months ago, who showed up bigger than life, in full support of me? Mom. It was so amazing to experience her free of her mental illness, 100% able to be there for me, supporting me and cheering me on, like she could never do in life. She’s been gone recently enough that I still think about picking up the phone and calling her to share things in my life, and then remember that she’s gone.
Isn’t it amazing to feel their higher self come through, unchained from the baggage we carry here in the physical? That’s one of the things I adore about being able to contact those who have crossed over. Such a loving experience, each time I feel it.
Thanks for your comment and being one of my loyal readers. It’s so so so appreciated!
Very beautiful powerful moment for you all…how wonderful.
Thanks, Mary. It really was beautiful – just a flash moment in time but no question in my mind what was going on. Glad to see you here – thanks for your comment!