“Take my advice. I’m not using it.”
We used to say this about my mom because, bless her heart, she could dole out the advice until the cows came home. And it was actually pretty good advice, too. The thing was, she would often give counsel that she herself should have taken but didn’t. So, it was kind of her trademark to hand it out as if they were ideas completely separate from her own life.
I’d like to think I’m not that way. But perhaps a tiny bit of that genetic proclivity has remained in my DNA. Wanna know why I’m pondering this very topic?
One of the things I often say to others is that being conscious of what you’re doing and why is 90% of the battle. And for the most part, I think I am pretty conscious of the bigger picture and how things fit together. Yet there is one place where I have steadfastly chosen to remain unconscious – my eating habits and my entire relationship with food.
Yeah, I peep into that particular box now and again – lose some weight, feel better and then go right back into unconsciousness because it’s so much easier than having to get into the muck and figure out what’s going on. I know I eat when I’m bored. That much I’ve figured out. But what do I do about it? Mostly, I’ve just ignored it.
But when your clothes no longer fit you and you feel like you are dragging your body around in a bag behind you, that’s a pretty good time to not just peep in that box, but to take the lid off and start sifting around with what’s inside.
I’m reading Geneen Roth’s “Women Food and God” and in doing so have stirred up all this stuff I’ve avoided for quite a while now. It’s really nothing that hasn’t been written about before in many different ways but I think I was ready to hear it in this way now. And not only ready, but willing to do the work.
Here’s the kicker: Roth suggests you listen to your own intuitive guidance about what you’re eating and why. At first, I was like “Nah, that won’t work.” and then I realized that I live my whole freaking life guided by my intuitive skills! Yeesh, Lisa! Wake up!
If it works as well as it has in my own life with respect to jobs, friends, personal situations, etc., why wouldn’t it work with my eating? I already trust my guidance without question. Why not take it into this realm?
That thought caused a huge shift for me in ways I cannot even really explain. In that moment, something changed. I began to understand that it’s easy using guidance to help others. I live for that. It’s what I do and who I am.
Much, much harder to take this intuitive guidance down into the hole with me and trust it as I muck around with why I choose to go unconscious with my eating. And yet, that guidance is what will lead me to the answer. It will lead me to finally working this piece out.
Once I understood that my greatest gift in serving others was also my greatest ally in serving myself, it all clicked.
And that’s why I was reminded of my mom for just a brief moment. Here I am, encouraging people to trust their guidance and to use their intuition in a practical way. Yet, when it came to the hardest thing I struggle with, I never even gave a thought to doing it intuitively.
Interesting how things happen, eh?
Just goes to show you – sometimes teacher, sometimes student.