“You will either step forward into GROWTH, or you will step back into SAFETY.”
– Abraham Maslow
Doesn’t it suck that this is true? I think it does because moving forward is hard. Especially when it feels like the densest of fog ahead of you along with quicksand beneath your feet. (Oh hai, Lisa’s current state of mind!)
David Neagle has often mentioned the “terror barrier” – It pretty much shows up any time you are on the verge of breaking out of your comfort zone. That voice that says “OH HELL NO! I’m not doing that!”
Sometimes the terror barrier shows up as a wall you slam into – the project that leads you down 50 dead end roads, the post you can’t seem to finish for your blog (is this just me?), the way you try to stall your crossfit appointment until another day (again, just me?).
Other times, it’s the slow slide into sloth where you decide that you didn’t want that thing anyway (whatever “that thing” is) or how it doesn’t make sense for you to do it; better to continue doing what you’re doing already.
However it shows up, it’s about your ego keeping you safe. That’s its main function anyway – keeping you alive and safe. When your ego self perceives what you’re about to do as being “scary and unsafe” it goes into overdrive. All the “Danger Will Robinson” flashing lights come on and it tries seven ways to Sunday to get you to stop in your tracks NOW.
According to Nancy Roberts at Q&A with Nancy:
Once you hit a certain level of success (or income, or weight) if your new state doesn’t match your sub-conscious belief of what you deserve, you will unconsciously sabotage yourself. And since the sub-conscious mind controls about 96 to 98% of our behavior (sad but true!), even if your conscious mind wants to sustain the goal, the sub-conscious wins out.
I’ve been struggling with this stupid thing for a week or so now. I wanted to write a post about how important your teacher’s vibration was and when it’s time to move on from a teacher.
I tried three times to write that post.
The last time I tried, right in the middle of it I decided it would be really fun to create a Facebook page for my cat. So I spent the next 90 minutes doing that, taking pictures of her and writing (what I thought was) witty commentary to create this fictional character.
Clearly, there’s something about writing that post (because it has to do with my very own break a couple years ago from one of my most influential teachers) that scares the hell out of me. It also scared me into bailing on my Thursday Crossfit session because I just couldn’t get my butt off the couch. I forced myself to go Friday but cried my way through the session. That terror barrier is tough, I know it.
So, how do you get past it because it doesn’t just show up once. (Dammit!) It shows up every. single. time. you move out of your comfort zone into new, uncharted territory.
David Neagle’s mentor, Bob Proctor, shares his thoughts about how to get past it:
How to be a wrecking ball on your own Terror Barrier
“1. Bulldoze through it scared. That’s right … just keep marching, no matter how badly your feet want to stay rooted to the ground. Refuse to permit this negative demon to control you, your emotions …your future.
2. Remember – the Terror Barrier rears its ugly head every time we attempt to make a major move in life into an area we have never traveled before. It’s as natural as day and night. Where before you used to let it stop you cold, now you can simply shrug and tell yourself, “Oh, there it is again. Well! This must really mean something great to me!”
3. Then, further remind yourself that it might be an unknown, but the other side of that Terror Barrier will have you that much closer to your goal. I’d encourage you to fall in love with THAT feeling of accomplishment, get wrapped up in it! I often say that if your goal doesn’t scare and excite you at the same time, you’re going after the wrong goal!
Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” That is excellent advice. By following her advice you will liberate yourself from the crippling emotional state that the Terror Barrier causes.
Do it scared. Begin to visualize yourself successfully being a wrecking ball on that Terror Barrier of yours. Mentally see yourself winning. Remember, perception IS reality!”
Perception IS reality, indeed.
Where is YOUR terror barrier?
How does it stop you right in your tracks?
What is ONE NEW ACTION you can take to navigate it today? (Even if that’s just the awareness that it exists, that’s one step forward.)
Let us know in the comments – we all can use some support in this!