What? You think I’m just going to give the answer away? 🙂
You’ll have to listen to the podcast to find out the biggest damn obstacle in your way! But I bet you can just about guess what it is.
And every single person has the very same obstacle, too.
The good news? It’s pretty easy to move out of the way *if you want to* and therein lies the rub, eh?
Hi everyone and welcome to the Practically Intuitive podcast. This is Lisa from Practically Intuitive.com but I bet you knew that already!
About a month ago we got a new puppy named Brogan who is ten kinds of sweet and joyful. The whiplash of going from the peacefulness of a 16 year old dog to a 6 month old puppy who needs my attention all the time – Lordy! How do you wonderful parents do that?? I am beyond thankful for a local dog park where he can run and play until he’s completely exhausted. Then I can finally get some stuff done!
Right now he’s napping with me here on the couch so I’m taking the opportunity to share my thoughts with you about a topic that I’ve certainly struggled with and seems like others have too.
Recently, I offered a 30 minute barrier breakthrough call to see if I can shed some light on what’s keeping you stuck. I asked those that were interested in the call to fill out a questionnaire so I could get a sense of what was going on with them and we could dive right into that on the call.
One of the questions I asked was “Who or what gets in the way of you moving past that block right now?” and every single person who answered said this “I do. I get in my own way.”
Can I just say that I love how conscious you guys are! You all really do get that we are responsible for what happens in our life. And we are also responsible for getting out of our own way when we see that going on.
If we know we are the ones in our own way, why aren’t we moving?
There are about as many reasons for that as there are people walking around in Chicago on any given day. And each reason has ties to so many things like stuff we’re told as a child, fear of moving forward, comfort zone comfy-ness, and so many other things.
Bottom line, though, you are the only one who can move yourself past being stuck. I can illuminate for you what might be going on and suggest a step or two for you to do but you have to decide to take those steps. You have to decide that moving forward is going to be worth leaving your safe little stuck place.
I bring this up with my clients often and it’s so applicable here. You stay stuck, you stay in crap relationships, you stay at a weight you hate because you are getting a payoff for doing that. The payoff might be comfort, it might be safety, and it might be immobilizing fear. But you are getting something out of doing that thing because otherwise, you wouldn’t do it.
You’ve all heard that lovely quote by writer Anais Nin: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. “ That means when you are so unhappy in your current situation that you are willing to do what it takes to move forward, that is when you move.
Do you really want to get to that place, though? The place where you are so miserable that your only way out of that misery is to do something? Why not make a smaller move now when you’re not miserable?
Here are a couple things I do when I realize I’m stuck (besides whining about it in my journal!)
1) I try to figure out what the thing is that’s keeping me stuck. Do I know what to do but don’t feel like doing it? Is it laziness? Am I afraid of taking a step because I know it’s going to create a shift I don’t feel ready for just yet?
A lot of the time, I find it’s a fear of not doing it well enough. I’m a pretty decent writer but one place where I’ve not had a lot of practice is writing sales copy. So when I try, it’s hard and I think it sucks and then I have to deal with the whole “geez, I suck at this, why even bother?” mindset and before you know it, I’m playing games on Facebook instead of doing what I need to do.
I find that mindset haunts me often when I’m trying something new where I perceive I might not do it perfectly the very first time. (sound familiar?) And if I can’t do it perfectly, well, what’s the point of even trying??
I heard Adam Urbanski say this the other day and I wrote it in my day planner for these exact situations: “Implement now – perfect later” to remind myself that it doesn’t have to be 100% perfect before I put it out into the world. What I have to do is try. Deal with the perfectionist crappola that comes up but don’t let it stop me from trying.
2) I ask for help. I’m a fan of working with a coach and I’ve done so for the past ten years. When I get myself all wound up about something insignificant and spend 10 minutes whining about it, she’ll say to me “Okay, what’s really going on under all that whining?” and calls me to step out of my ranting spiral to what’s underneath. She sees the things I can’t and by having that kind of trusting relationship with her, I open up to her help and guidance.
It’s not easy to allow someone in that way and to trust that they’ll truly hear you and further, that you’ll WANT to hear what they have to tell you. That’s the other piece of it – to know that when you ask for guidance and support (from whomever), you WILL get it. Might not be in the way you want, but one way or the other, you will get it. The question is – can you hear it and further – ACT on it?
There’s no reason you have to stand in your own way. Once you figure out the real reason you’re stuck, you can make a plan to move – one small step at a time. And keep noticing what you’re feeling as you do that. From the time Andrea hess announced she was offering a special mentoring program, I knew I wanted to apply. But just filling out the application took me a month and a half. I was so intimidated by the questions (easy ones, too, like what’s your monthly financial goal!) that I just ran away from it. But I knew I was doing it and kept looking at the reasons why.
When I asked my Guides if I could really do it, they answered “If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t.” it was in that moment I knew that I had to at least try.
On a deeper level, and especially with hindsight, I knew that working with her was signaling my true intention to the universe and all that entailed. Taking my work out into the world full-time was a great dream but what if I can’t truly make it a reality? What if I’ve been an idiot all along and will fail spectacularly? (Yes, this is what goes on in my head!)
It was that kind of misguided thinking that kept me stuck until my guides reminded me that I held the keys to moving forward all the time.
So, what are you putting off doing?
What’s hard about it?
What’s ONE thing you can do today to move toward it?
I challenge you to action – just a wee bit, of course, but action nonetheless.
I know you can do it!
That’s all for this week – I hope summer is treating you well so far. This is Lisa, from Practically Intuitive (along with a snoring puppy named Brogan) wishing you a lovely week. Bye for now!