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I know stuff.

I do.

I don’t know how I know it. But I do. It’s called Claircognizance and it means “clear knowing”.

I can tell what’s going on with someone just by tuning in. Often, I don’t even have to tune in to get pieces of it. It’s just there.

My mom had that same skill. She knew when someone was going to pass away (not often but on the few occasions she shared that kind of info, she was right), she knew when weird stuff was going on in the family that no one talked about. She just knew.

What she didn’t know, though, was how to share it with compassion. I learned that the hard way.

See, I was 16 and my 17 year old boyfriend went off to Germany for a month. He wrote me letters, he sent me gifts. He was very attentive. When he came back, though, I felt something was ‘off’.  One day, my mom blurted this out of the blue: “He met someone in Germany and is in love with her. He’ll probably marry her.”

As you can imagine, that sorta sucked to hear.

As you can imagine, she was right. Down to the getting married part, even.

Took me over two years to tell her she was right. During that time, I couldn’t share with her my heartache or sadness because that meant telling her she was right and as any mom of a teenage girl knows, that’s a fate worse than death.

But that experience taught me a very valuable lesson on how to handle these skills as I got older. Empaths, especially ones with the skill of “just knowing stuff”, are privy to a lot of information if they happen to tune in. When called upon to assist another with life issues, this can be of great help because often people don’t even have language to put to their feelings. In cases like that, it’s a great help to just “know” what’s going on.

Here’s the caveat that I learned from that experience with my mom: never, ever just blurt stuff out that you happen to “know” – especially information that can wound another.

I have no doubt that my mom said this with love because she didn’t want to see me get hurt. I get it. But it did hurt and to have it come from her in such a matter-of-fact way hurt just as much.

What do I do differently so I don’t inadvertently hurt someone? Well, I check in with my higher self and see if this is information that is to be shared. Many times, it’s not. And so I tell no one. It’s not mine to share. There have been times where I’ve wanted to jump in and say “okay, here’s what’s going on” (hey! I’m human, what can I say?) and I’ve been told by my Guides to hush.

I’ll tell you straight up – if my Guides tell me not to speak about something or not to intervene, I don’t. Period. Chances are good that there are lessons involved for the other person and to put myself into the middle of it would be helpful neither to them nor me.

If, however, I am called to share that information (in a reading or with a friend), I’ve learned how to share it compassionately. I will never blurt out “Oh, your husband is seeing someone else” or “Your child is stealing from you.” or something equally awful. If I am given that information to share with you, I do so in a way that will empower you to take action, not wound you deeper. I have a lot of practice and I’d probably make a good diplomat at this point.

Thanks Mama for teaching me how important it is to have compassion when sharing possibly hurtful information with someone. I might not have gotten that had you not shown me in such a visceral way. You taught me well.