I’ve been immersed in a life-changing program called “Coherence Lab” ably captained by Fabeku Fatunmise. When I say life-changing, I mean the way I see myself, my work and my life has all been tossed up into the Universe and I’m putting the pieces together as they fall back down. In the Lab, Fabeku talks about the concept of BIGNESS which he defines as “the clearest part of you that’s most connected to your power and potency.”
What does it mean to live into your BIGNESS? It means choosing love over fear every time. It means being willing to be seen. It means being willing to take up space.
It means bringing that part of you out in every possible instance and not being affected by fear. “BIGNESS sees possibilities that smallness can’t ever see,” Fabuku says.
The last two months have crystallized work I’ve been doing for years, looking at what it means to be seen. I’ve asked the Universe and my Guides to assist me with that work and help me take the big leap.
So, it did.
(Photo by Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images)
Last Thursday, I was online when the reports of Prince’s death started making the rounds and I just flat out went into shock. Prince has been a presence in my life since I was 19 and his music has been my soundtrack. It was like time stood still and all I did was read online comments and cry.
Part of me knew that this grief, this extraordinary grief, was not just about Prince, although he was the catalyst for it. It was about losses never truly mourned when my dad died (I was 14) and when my goddaughter Lauren died in 2006. All of it came rushing to the surface and almost took me down.
When the dust cleared, I came to understand this event, the work I’ve been doing and how it was dovetailing together. All three of those pivotal people in my life, my dad, goddaughter and Prince, lived their BIGNESS. Without apology. Sure, it looked different in them all but each one fully expressed his or her self with potency and power.
When the biggest part of the grief had ebbed away, I was not the same person. I wasn’t. I knew that the work I did leading up to this plus the shock release of enormous grief catapulted me to the other side really fast. My part was to feel the deep well of sadness and keep walking forward.
I spent the better part of three days posting on FB about my grief and sadness worrying that I was bothering people with it all. Here’s what I shared:
I have been feeling really bad about “spamming” everyone’s FB wall with my sorrow and grief over Prince. I know that’s my smallness talking – it’s the part of me that is scared to take up space with my stuff. (Interestingly, this is work I am doing in a life-changing program and the question he asks us to look at is “Are you willing to be seen? Are you willing to take up space?” Coincidence? Naw.)
My BIGNESS says that maybe my openly processing what’s going on with me helps someone else. I know I’ve been helped when others share their emotions, even if I don’t always understand it.
It’s a process. One step.
It’s a process. One step.
This lovely quote by Mira Jacob (thank you!) helped me not worry about grieving and posting so much. As Fabeku would say, this is what’s called “Being willing to take up space”. I chose to take up space unapologetically (mostly).
April 23 at 10:18am · New York, NY ·
I’ve been noticing a funny phenomenon of some of my friends being embarrassed by the intensity of their grief over Prince. I didn’t know him, they say. It’s not like we were friends. I’m sorry I’m so emotional. They act like they’ve co-opted their sadness, like they’re squatting in a feeling that isn’t theirs to inhabit. Which, I just want to say, as lovingly as possible, is total bullshit. Of course you knew him. Of course you are shattered. That’s the whole deal with art—it doesn’t give a shit about the boundaries of flesh. You never held Prince? So what. The way he spoke to you, the way he shaped you and transformed you into someone you couldn’t have imagined is just as real and vital as any relationship you will ever have. I mean listen, if we as a people need to apologize for something, I will gladly nominate global warming, or the Kardashians, or fat-free cream cheese. But loving and grieving a man we never touched? That is us at our very, very best. No apology necessary.
Okay, then. None given.
There are several, really:
1. When you ask the Universe to support your intention, don’t be surprised if it does that in a way that isn’t pleasant. Your most favorite performer doesn’t have to suddenly depart this earth, as was my case, but if you’re ready for that shift, it WILL come.
2. When you’re ready to really BE your BIGNESS, it feels scary as all hell. Then, POOF! You’re there. You know what it feels like and you can access it whenever you want. Just tell smallness to hush and go back to shining. You can’t tell me at some point (maybe more than one) Prince had those voices and fears rise up. He chose to show up BIG every time.
3. This is work I’ve been doing with my clients all along but didn’t have it quite as focused as I do now. Sometimes, it takes a brick to the head to see what’s been there all along. Prince’s sudden death was my brick.
This month, Practically Intuitive turns six – I can hardly believe it’s been that long and yet, here I am! When I started offering readings in 2010, I was doing it because I was guided to and because it spoke to the part of me that wanted to support others in their personal development. (Yes, I wanted to be a therapist back in the day. That should surprise no one who knows me, right?)
As my business grew, I began training others how to do intuitive readings that were focused on being practical rather than what I considered ‘airy-fairy’ (‘your aura is pink and that means you are filled with love’ kind of thing that is nice to know but how does it help you?).
Out of that experience came the business side of Practically Intuitive. Combining 33 years of work in the financial services world with my super intuitive skills, I was able to guide those who wanted to start a business offering readings or other healing work.
All of those things came from following the next step. Setting an intention and watching for what opens up. Stepping up even when it’s scary, hiding when it’s too scary and making my way forward. If you’ve been with me a while you know that there were a lot of bumpy roads and there was even a false start with a whole new business last summer.
Whee! Entrepreneurship is fun, right??
At the end of last year, I decided it was time for a much tighter focus so you know exactly how I can help you. And that’s where “Aligned and Unleashed 2016” came from. I realized that as you’re creating a business, you also need to build a foundation that will support you through all the twists and turns.
If you’re constantly in your own way, getting out there to talk about what you do will feel like swimming through mud. If you’re not sure what you offer or how you help others, it’s worse than swimming in mud.Clarity is king. Knowing what you offer that is truly and uniquely yours and ways to take that out into the world makes it so much easier and much more fun.
“Aligned and Unleashed 2016” helps lay the important groundwork for creating a business YOUR way. There’s no ‘right way’ to do it, there’s just what works for you. (I learned that one the hard way!)
I’m excited to share this program with you because it will give you tools and processes along with specific strategies to build your business and take care of your self.Look for more information coming soon but if you want to get in on the fun earlier, click this here linky and hop on the email list.
Here’s to finding YOUR focus this year!
PS: Yep, intuitive readings are always available to you should you need some extra insight and guidance on your path. Read more about them and book yours by going here: Intuitive Readings – 30 minute sessions now open!
Confidence doesn’t come when you have all the answers. It comes when you are ready to face all the questions.
Hello and happy 2016!
I spent the past two weeks fighting off a weird bout of bronchitis and hoping it didn’t morph into pneumonia so my holidays rolled by in a haze of coughing, random sleep and Netflix. (Who else is watching “Making a Murderer”? OY!)
But before I came down with the sickness, I was feeling all sorts of lost and confused about what I was doing with Practically Intuitive. I even questioned if I should just chuck it all and go back to corporate world and sell my soul again. (And not coincidentally, guess whose old job opened up again? YEP. It did. Oh Universe, you make me giggle!)
It’s been said that being an entrepreneur brings all your junk up like nothing else. I would imagine that there are lots of things that stir the junk pot just as well. Parenthood, for example. Everything less-than-wonderful you feel about yourself can and will get dragged out in ways you can’t wrap your head around.
One of the things I know is that I didn’t study or train or anything to be the awesome Spirit Guide channel that I am. I just stepped into it when the door opened. (Yes, I took lots of classes but the basic ability was just there.) And so I have supreme confidence in my skills there. Don’t question them, don’t doubt them.
But when it came time to expand my capacities big time into the business side. even though I bring those stellar intuitive abilities with me, I got scared. What if I suck and no one is telling me? What if I’m not really helping people the way I know I can? What if, what if, what if?
And the more those voices came out, the stronger they got, like a discordant song playing over another on the radio. Soon, I couldn’t hear anything but the roar of everyone else doing it perfectly and I was not.
So, I turned off all the noise. I unsubscribed from damn near every list I was on and I stopped looking for validation OUT THERE. From clients and friends and anyone. I just stopped.
In the silence, I looked at what brings me joy, where I can truly be a contribution to someone else’s life and what was mine to do. I think being sick for almost 2 weeks helped me take that well-needed break from worrying about it and running after the answer instead of allowing it to show up.
Let me turn this toward you – are there places where you are feeling lost and confused? The answer to all of that resides within you. I can’t tell you, your bestie can’t and even Sherlock Holmes himself can’t.
Be willing to look at a couple things:
1) What is the value of keeping myself in this place? We never, ever do anything without some sort of payoff (even the crap things have a payoff) so what is the value to you of this choice? For me, staying in that space of “I’m lost and don’t know what to do now” was about being scared to move forward. Being scared to be out on my own. The longer I could stay in “I-don’t-know-land”, the less fear I had to deal with, so that’s a win, right? Hah! No.
2) Are you willing to trash it all and start again? Doesn’t mean you have to or even that it’s the best thing. But if you are willing to be open to the possibility that you can trash whatever you want and start again if you choose, more and greater choices open up. Why? Because you are willing to do what’s required in that situation even if it means chucking it all.
If the answer is within you and the choices are within you, then YOU are the key to all of it. How cool is that?
Yeah, it’s cool so don’t forget it. When you’ve lost your confidence or your mojo or whatever and you think the world doesn’t even notice you’re alive, remember that it all comes from within you. Start there and you’ll find it again.
Wishing you tons of laughter, joy and awarenesses in the coming year!
PS: I’ve got some goodies coming up in early 2016! (yey!) “Aligned and Unleashed” – because when HOW you share your gifts with the world ALIGNS with who you are, the magic (and money) you’ve been waiting for shows up!
(And you know I’ll hook you up with some special bonues and whatnot, right? Right!)
This week, I received an email from one of my dear readers that really stopped me in my tracks.
She shared that with all my talk of re-branding, her concern was that I’d leave behind all the unique things that made Practically Intuitive so dear to her heart.
Things like intuitive readings, helping connect people with their Guides and Teachers and being open to guiding people where they are, whether they are in business or not. Things I’ve done since the very beginning of Practically Intuitive in 2010.
Maybe from YOUR perspective, too?
In all my excitement about expanding, I didn’t really make it clear that Practically Intuitive isn’t going away. I’m just creating an addition to what I’ve done all along with an even clearer focus on guiding people to imagine, believe in and achieve their biggest vision.
And I’m doing it the way I always have – by getting on the phone with you and holding the space for what’s possible. So many amazing things can come from being in a space where someone sees your heart and soul and reflects that back to you.
If you’ve followed me for a while, you’ve watched my path open up and it’s because I was willing to get in there and look at myself, my life and what I know I’m here to do AND make changes as I go. I didn’t just wake up one morning and decide all my visibility issues or fears of not being good enough were gone.I talked, thrashed and cried my way through. I have someone who holds this space for me and it’s thanks to her that I am where I am in my life.
I can be that person for you – the one who meets you where you are, takes your hand and walks forward with you.
(I use this picture a lot because it carries the energy of my work with my clients.)
Whatever that vision is for you – whether it’s a more empowered life, a business that makes your soul sing, or a relationship that supports you fully, I’m here to help in a way that lifts you up and supports your growth.
It’s what I’ve done in many different ways over the past five years.
If you’d like to talk with me – about anything and get perspectives, guidance and support, you can do that now at a significant savings.
How does it get better than that?
This is not a special and it has no expiration date. Buy it now, buy it later, it’s all good. While it’s on the site as a reading with your Spirit Guides still, you can use it for anything you want. (Truly!)
That’s it. I’m here, I’d love to help if you need that and I’m not going anywhere. I promise.
I send a huge hug and my sincere thanks to the person who wrote me that email. I heard you.
Here’s the link to the page to purchase your session: >> CLICK HERE << and I hope to connect with you soon.
Last week, I had the good fortune to interview the wonderful Glenyce Hughes – did you listen in?
Check it out here:
We talked about ways empaths and other highly-sensitive people can stay in their own energy and not get caught up in everyone else’s. Glenyce mentioned a tool that seemed to fly against conventional wisdom in the energy/Woo community.
Here it is: instead of closing your aura, bringing your energy inward, setting up protective boundaries and generally making yourself energetically smaller, why not open up and E X P A N D?
Well, there’s a new concept!
Really? I thought. Hmmm. Interesting.
Expand your energy out and out and out so that you get bigger instead of smaller.
I’m so used to shutting off, closing down, running away (mentally) from stuff that to open up and expand feels … scary? odd? foreign? to me.
What happens when you do that? I wondered if I’d be asking for everyone’s yuck to come flying at me which I really (really!!) don’t want. But I’m trying it (because, hey, why not?) to see what happens when I bring my big energy out.
Remember that any time you shift something big (and doing this IS a big deal, even if you don’t think it is), those around you might not take to it immediately (or at all!). I bet, though, it feels so empowering that you won’t want to go back to contraction and smallness.
Your challenge for the week is this: in situations where you are used to closing off your energy (disagreements with your partner, visiting hospitals or cemeteries, volatile environments), consciously choose to move your energy outward. Reach out to the very ends of your being (guess what? There IS no end!) and create space for your energy to flow.
Email me and let me know what that felt like to you. Was it cool? Scary? Weird? What happened when you tried it?
PS: “How much space do I need to occupy for this not to affect me?” – another good question Glenyce mentioned. If you’re not sure how big to project out, ask this and trust (TRUST!!) what you receive back as an answer. (There were lots of useful questions like these on the call – it was just 30 minutes long – go listen!)