I’ve been immersed in a life-changing program called “Coherence Lab” ably captained by Fabeku Fatunmise. When I say life-changing, I mean the way I see myself, my work and my life has all been tossed up into the Universe and I’m putting the pieces together as they fall back down. In the Lab, Fabeku talks about the concept of BIGNESS which he defines as “the clearest part of you that’s most connected to your power and potency.”
What does it mean to live into your BIGNESS? It means choosing love over fear every time. It means being willing to be seen. It means being willing to take up space.
It means bringing that part of you out in every possible instance and not being affected by fear. “BIGNESS sees possibilities that smallness can’t ever see,” Fabuku says.
The last two months have crystallized work I’ve been doing for years, looking at what it means to be seen. I’ve asked the Universe and my Guides to assist me with that work and help me take the big leap.
So, it did.
(Photo by Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images)
Last Thursday, I was online when the reports of Prince’s death started making the rounds and I just flat out went into shock. Prince has been a presence in my life since I was 19 and his music has been my soundtrack. It was like time stood still and all I did was read online comments and cry.
Part of me knew that this grief, this extraordinary grief, was not just about Prince, although he was the catalyst for it. It was about losses never truly mourned when my dad died (I was 14) and when my goddaughter Lauren died in 2006. All of it came rushing to the surface and almost took me down.
When the dust cleared, I came to understand this event, the work I’ve been doing and how it was dovetailing together. All three of those pivotal people in my life, my dad, goddaughter and Prince, lived their BIGNESS. Without apology. Sure, it looked different in them all but each one fully expressed his or her self with potency and power.
When the biggest part of the grief had ebbed away, I was not the same person. I wasn’t. I knew that the work I did leading up to this plus the shock release of enormous grief catapulted me to the other side really fast. My part was to feel the deep well of sadness and keep walking forward.
I spent the better part of three days posting on FB about my grief and sadness worrying that I was bothering people with it all. Here’s what I shared:
I have been feeling really bad about “spamming” everyone’s FB wall with my sorrow and grief over Prince. I know that’s my smallness talking – it’s the part of me that is scared to take up space with my stuff. (Interestingly, this is work I am doing in a life-changing program and the question he asks us to look at is “Are you willing to be seen? Are you willing to take up space?” Coincidence? Naw.)
My BIGNESS says that maybe my openly processing what’s going on with me helps someone else. I know I’ve been helped when others share their emotions, even if I don’t always understand it.
It’s a process. One step.
It’s a process. One step.
This lovely quote by Mira Jacob (thank you!) helped me not worry about grieving and posting so much. As Fabeku would say, this is what’s called “Being willing to take up space”. I chose to take up space unapologetically (mostly).
April 23 at 10:18am · New York, NY ·
I’ve been noticing a funny phenomenon of some of my friends being embarrassed by the intensity of their grief over Prince. I didn’t know him, they say. It’s not like we were friends. I’m sorry I’m so emotional. They act like they’ve co-opted their sadness, like they’re squatting in a feeling that isn’t theirs to inhabit. Which, I just want to say, as lovingly as possible, is total bullshit. Of course you knew him. Of course you are shattered. That’s the whole deal with art—it doesn’t give a shit about the boundaries of flesh. You never held Prince? So what. The way he spoke to you, the way he shaped you and transformed you into someone you couldn’t have imagined is just as real and vital as any relationship you will ever have. I mean listen, if we as a people need to apologize for something, I will gladly nominate global warming, or the Kardashians, or fat-free cream cheese. But loving and grieving a man we never touched? That is us at our very, very best. No apology necessary.
Okay, then. None given.
There are several, really:
1. When you ask the Universe to support your intention, don’t be surprised if it does that in a way that isn’t pleasant. Your most favorite performer doesn’t have to suddenly depart this earth, as was my case, but if you’re ready for that shift, it WILL come.
2. When you’re ready to really BE your BIGNESS, it feels scary as all hell. Then, POOF! You’re there. You know what it feels like and you can access it whenever you want. Just tell smallness to hush and go back to shining. You can’t tell me at some point (maybe more than one) Prince had those voices and fears rise up. He chose to show up BIG every time.
3. This is work I’ve been doing with my clients all along but didn’t have it quite as focused as I do now. Sometimes, it takes a brick to the head to see what’s been there all along. Prince’s sudden death was my brick.
I’m starting off this post with a question for you: have you ever had a moment where you felt completely and fully in your element? Like, time stopped moving and all that was left was you and your groove? They don’t come often, that’s for sure, but when they do, it feels amazing.
I experienced such a moment at a retreat in Utah recently where I am lead coach in a year-long program for other soul-preneurs. We had a ‘get stuff done” night and I spent about 90 minutes helping someone create their opt-in pipeline (a series of emails that someone receives to welcome them to your list). Now that may not sound like big fun to you but it made my creative brain go all buzzy. brilliance
Writing emails is sort of my thing (had you noticed?) and in fact, I once wanted to write a book that was just emails back and forth between two people. (I’ve read two like that and yeah, there’s a fine art to doing it.) So, helping her write the emails for the opt-in is like breathing to me. Time passed but I hardly noticed it because I was so focused on just being in that space and creating.
And that’s what’s called “just showing up” in all your brilliance. Not in an arrogant way but in a way where it’s light and natural for you. I had no idea what we’d create together but I knew that I had the ability to do this with her. And it applies to almost any situation in life. How do you ‘just show up’ and trust that you know what you know?
One of the other women at the retreat is an AMAZING healer. She has powers that put Superman to shame (no lie). Her fear was that she wasn’t fully prepared for her sessions or that she needed still more training. Her Guides spoke through me and told her to “just show up”. That was it. She’ll know what to do. (I admit, it took some convincing before she accepted that was all she needed to do. Oh stubborn ego, why must you badger us so?)
Where do you need reminding to just show up? That it’s enough, that YOU are enough? How can you be in your brilliance today and own it?
What else is possible for you if you open up even more to your flow and joy?
This week, I received an email from one of my dear readers that really stopped me in my tracks.
She shared that with all my talk of re-branding, her concern was that I’d leave behind all the unique things that made Practically Intuitive so dear to her heart.
Things like intuitive readings, helping connect people with their Guides and Teachers and being open to guiding people where they are, whether they are in business or not. Things I’ve done since the very beginning of Practically Intuitive in 2010.
Maybe from YOUR perspective, too?
In all my excitement about expanding, I didn’t really make it clear that Practically Intuitive isn’t going away. I’m just creating an addition to what I’ve done all along with an even clearer focus on guiding people to imagine, believe in and achieve their biggest vision.
And I’m doing it the way I always have – by getting on the phone with you and holding the space for what’s possible. So many amazing things can come from being in a space where someone sees your heart and soul and reflects that back to you.
If you’ve followed me for a while, you’ve watched my path open up and it’s because I was willing to get in there and look at myself, my life and what I know I’m here to do AND make changes as I go. I didn’t just wake up one morning and decide all my visibility issues or fears of not being good enough were gone.I talked, thrashed and cried my way through. I have someone who holds this space for me and it’s thanks to her that I am where I am in my life.
I can be that person for you – the one who meets you where you are, takes your hand and walks forward with you.
(I use this picture a lot because it carries the energy of my work with my clients.)
Whatever that vision is for you – whether it’s a more empowered life, a business that makes your soul sing, or a relationship that supports you fully, I’m here to help in a way that lifts you up and supports your growth.
It’s what I’ve done in many different ways over the past five years.
If you’d like to talk with me – about anything and get perspectives, guidance and support, you can do that now at a significant savings.
How does it get better than that?
This is not a special and it has no expiration date. Buy it now, buy it later, it’s all good. While it’s on the site as a reading with your Spirit Guides still, you can use it for anything you want. (Truly!)
That’s it. I’m here, I’d love to help if you need that and I’m not going anywhere. I promise.
I send a huge hug and my sincere thanks to the person who wrote me that email. I heard you.
Here’s the link to the page to purchase your session: >> CLICK HERE << and I hope to connect with you soon.
By Lisa Wechtenhiser
Two weeks ago, I wrote a post about weeping for someone I don’t even know. The someone was a guy named John Cole whose beloved cat, Tunch, was killed by his sister’s dog.
As I explained, Tunch was like the mascot of the blog (Balloon Juice) and this community of people sewn together by words on a screen was almost as saddened as if Tunch were our own. (Animal devotees, all.)
After grieving a few days (during which John didn’t much come out from under the blankets on his bed), he decided to go to the local animal rescue and see who needed him (or rather, who he needed).
Turns out it’s a dude he named Steve.
“Steve continues to be just the sweetest cat with the biggest personality ever. His one flaw is his love bites are a little painful. We’ll have to work on that. This is kind of crazy, but I think he actually feels better after being neutered. His eyes look less confused and he seems more content, but that could just be that today is a week since I got him and he is maybe settling in. I really do think I got a winner. He’s so different from Tunch in so many ways, but there are so many things that are the same. I love the winking and the purring and the kneading, and how he just flops himself over and asks for tummy rubs.
But not too many, because then he has to bite me. On principle.”
Slowly John is healing and things are back to normal on the blog – random political whining interspersed with recipes, music and pet stories.
But here’s the really wonderful part
So far, over $15,000 has been raised in Tunch’s name at the local rescue!
Isn’t that amazing?
John asked that anyone who wanted to do so make a contribution in Tunch’s name and people who probably wouldn’t have recognized John (or Tunch, for that matter) walking down the street, gave to the rescue organization.
The rescue place, just a few people doing big work, were stunned (and I think that’s putting it mildly!).
“Heard again from the MARC folks, and it looks like the close to final tally for animal rescue in Tunch’s name is around $15,200, but I know it will increase slightly because my mother and others I know mailed in checks that will take a while to show up and clear. They are just ecstatic at your generosity. What a legacy for a cat who just wanted tuna and belly rubs and to have his presence DULY NOTED every time he entered a room.”
In every tragedy, there is pain. And eventually there is light. When the time is right.
The light shows up in strangers wanting to help carry someone’s hurt for them.
It shows up in a cat named Steve who helps someone move on with their life.
It shows up in ways you don’t ever expect.
But it shows up.
By Lisa Wechtenhiser
I live in a somewhat conservative “good ole boy” area of Maryland. Now and again, I’ll see these lawn signs saying “Repent Now!” or “Beg for forgiveness! You are not worthy to be in front of the Lord”.
Every time I read them, I hear this huge CLANNNNNNG!! in my ear. It’s almost as if someone is walking behind me with a steel mallet banging on pots and pans.
That CLANNNNNG! signifies that whatever I’ve seen, read or heard is not a ‘truth’ for me. Now, I don’t get it all the time, mind you. (Or else I’d probably be sitting in a cell rocking back and forth!) but often enough that I know what it means to me.
A short detour
I first heard it when I attended a class for those who were joining the Catholic faith. Raised in the Catholic tradition (twelve years of Catholic school gave me my awesome writin’ skillz, yo!), I stepped away from it early on because it didn’t make sense to me. I just attended the class with my cousin (a devout Catholic) to see what had changed, if anything.
Not surprisingly (to me), nothing had changed and it resonated even less with me than it ever had. The CLANG! came when the priest said that the only place God was present was in the holy tabernacle. And that you had to come to church to speak to God. I was all “NO YOU DON’T!” and almost stood up to say that but I love my cousin and didn’t want to embarrass her in her own church and besides, that’s their truth, it’s just not mine.
See, I’ve always believed that you could speak to God / Creator / Spirit any time you wanted in any place you wanted. That was the nature of God as I understood it. Omnipresent: at all places at the same time (pretty cool party trick, eh?) You could summon Creator’s attention any time you wanted or needed it. (I don’t know how I came to this conclusion but it was present in me always, as long as I can remember.)
So yeah, back to the story
I know that we all seek a path to peace in our own way and in our own time. I know this with my head and my heart. But I still hate seeing anything (signs, stuff on Facebook, billboards) that implies that God (Creator / Spirit / Universe) is in any way punitive or judging. (I wrote about my lack of belief in any kind of hell or devil back in August.)
Yes, I know what the Bible says.
And I still don’t buy it. I don’t believe in original sin and the concept that we are all sinners and had to be saved in some fashion. Just cannot believe that. (Blasphemy! I know.)
It’s just this feeling in my soul that we are not here to be “less than” or to be “saved” from our own heathen temptations.
As I understand it, we are here as part of the ALL THAT IS to evolve our soul into the highest and best it can be before we return back to Source. We are not here as lowly sinners who have to grovel before another to beg for forgiveness. We are here to shine! How can you shine if you see yourself as deficient in some way from the get-go?
I’m not denigrating any religious practice at all. Like I said, we each find our own way and what helps us walk a path of peace. My path of peace involves trusting in the goodness of the Universe to support me as I grow and learn. Because if I’m wrong and I’ll be smited (smote?) for all my grievances and wrong-doings in this life, what harm have I done by believing in the goodness? I’d rather believe in that than the opposite.
What an interesting world we’d live in if we all started from a place of wholeness and love. No one would need any kind of “saving”, we’d acknowledge our misdeeds and work to do better not because some mythical mean “Sky-Daddy” is going to be mad at us but because it’s a way to learn and grown and evolve our beautiful soul.
What if we stepped into the belief that Creator wishes for all of us to be every single wonderful thing we came here to be?
How would your life change if you took that perspective?
I know this is sticking my toe into the deep waters of religious beliefs and if it’s pinged yours, I’d love to hear about it. You can agree with me, disagree with me, or share something in-between in the comment section.
I’ll also invite you to email me (lisa[at]practicallyintuitive.com) if you want to share your thoughts in private.
By Lisa Wechtenhiser
That line, from a song called “Therapy“, has long resonated with me. (And not just because sekrit boyfriend is singing it, either!) I think I understood the deep truths shining through those seven words.
You need both to grow spiritually.
Self-authority, the ability to discern what is truth *for you*, is imperative to guide you through the many faces of everyday life: religion, politics, sex, relationships, raising children – you need to be able to look inside and know, with enormous certainty, what is right for you. That deep inner knowing that comes without much intellectual analysis – the knowing that just ‘is’.
You can’t truly grow and ripen into your soul without this.
Because you need to be able to discern inner truth and allow it to guide you. If you are constantly at the sway of other voices, you’ll be pulled into things that may not fit you. And how can your soul experience true growth if you are not listening to its call?
And you need perspective– the ability to view things through a different lens. “it’s easy when it’s done being hard” is just that. You decide when you’re done allowing the “hard” to rule your life.
A while back, my coach suggested that I stop pushing so hard to make things work in my business. She said “why not step back and ALLOW the Universe to do its part?” I didn’t much like that. If I didn’t push, who would? Who would make things happen??
Turns out, the Universe, when allowed to step in (and I allow myself to step back!) can work miracles. That’s perspective. I gave up the need to push and decided to look at things a bit differently.
You were given free will by Creator of All. How can you use it wisely to support you? Self-authority and Perspective are just two keys but two pretty big ones clanging around on your spiritual keychain.
Are you done with it being hard?
Ready for it to be easy?
You’ll find that working on the energetic and spiritual plane (like what we do releasing cords of attachment) are amazingly easy. The changes, though, are BIG!
What are you ready to release with ease? Email me and let me know. Help is as close as your fingertips!