I’ve been immersed in a life-changing program called “Coherence Lab” ably captained by Fabeku Fatunmise. When I say life-changing, I mean the way I see myself, my work and my life has all been tossed up into the Universe and I’m putting the pieces together as they fall back down. In the Lab, Fabeku talks about the concept of BIGNESS which he defines as “the clearest part of you that’s most connected to your power and potency.”
What does it mean to live into your BIGNESS? It means choosing love over fear every time. It means being willing to be seen. It means being willing to take up space.
It means bringing that part of you out in every possible instance and not being affected by fear. “BIGNESS sees possibilities that smallness can’t ever see,” Fabuku says.
The last two months have crystallized work I’ve been doing for years, looking at what it means to be seen. I’ve asked the Universe and my Guides to assist me with that work and help me take the big leap.
So, it did.
(Photo by Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images)
Last Thursday, I was online when the reports of Prince’s death started making the rounds and I just flat out went into shock. Prince has been a presence in my life since I was 19 and his music has been my soundtrack. It was like time stood still and all I did was read online comments and cry.
Part of me knew that this grief, this extraordinary grief, was not just about Prince, although he was the catalyst for it. It was about losses never truly mourned when my dad died (I was 14) and when my goddaughter Lauren died in 2006. All of it came rushing to the surface and almost took me down.
When the dust cleared, I came to understand this event, the work I’ve been doing and how it was dovetailing together. All three of those pivotal people in my life, my dad, goddaughter and Prince, lived their BIGNESS. Without apology. Sure, it looked different in them all but each one fully expressed his or her self with potency and power.
When the biggest part of the grief had ebbed away, I was not the same person. I wasn’t. I knew that the work I did leading up to this plus the shock release of enormous grief catapulted me to the other side really fast. My part was to feel the deep well of sadness and keep walking forward.
I spent the better part of three days posting on FB about my grief and sadness worrying that I was bothering people with it all. Here’s what I shared:
I have been feeling really bad about “spamming” everyone’s FB wall with my sorrow and grief over Prince. I know that’s my smallness talking – it’s the part of me that is scared to take up space with my stuff. (Interestingly, this is work I am doing in a life-changing program and the question he asks us to look at is “Are you willing to be seen? Are you willing to take up space?” Coincidence? Naw.)
My BIGNESS says that maybe my openly processing what’s going on with me helps someone else. I know I’ve been helped when others share their emotions, even if I don’t always understand it.
It’s a process. One step.
It’s a process. One step.
This lovely quote by Mira Jacob (thank you!) helped me not worry about grieving and posting so much. As Fabeku would say, this is what’s called “Being willing to take up space”. I chose to take up space unapologetically (mostly).
April 23 at 10:18am · New York, NY ·
I’ve been noticing a funny phenomenon of some of my friends being embarrassed by the intensity of their grief over Prince. I didn’t know him, they say. It’s not like we were friends. I’m sorry I’m so emotional. They act like they’ve co-opted their sadness, like they’re squatting in a feeling that isn’t theirs to inhabit. Which, I just want to say, as lovingly as possible, is total bullshit. Of course you knew him. Of course you are shattered. That’s the whole deal with art—it doesn’t give a shit about the boundaries of flesh. You never held Prince? So what. The way he spoke to you, the way he shaped you and transformed you into someone you couldn’t have imagined is just as real and vital as any relationship you will ever have. I mean listen, if we as a people need to apologize for something, I will gladly nominate global warming, or the Kardashians, or fat-free cream cheese. But loving and grieving a man we never touched? That is us at our very, very best. No apology necessary.
Okay, then. None given.
There are several, really:
1. When you ask the Universe to support your intention, don’t be surprised if it does that in a way that isn’t pleasant. Your most favorite performer doesn’t have to suddenly depart this earth, as was my case, but if you’re ready for that shift, it WILL come.
2. When you’re ready to really BE your BIGNESS, it feels scary as all hell. Then, POOF! You’re there. You know what it feels like and you can access it whenever you want. Just tell smallness to hush and go back to shining. You can’t tell me at some point (maybe more than one) Prince had those voices and fears rise up. He chose to show up BIG every time.
3. This is work I’ve been doing with my clients all along but didn’t have it quite as focused as I do now. Sometimes, it takes a brick to the head to see what’s been there all along. Prince’s sudden death was my brick.
Last Saturday, my pal Christine and I tried a new experience – we went to spend time in a flotation tank. You know what that is, right?
It’s where you get nekkid, step into warm, salty water in a dark enclosed space and basically lie there for an hour with no sound. Doesn’t that just sound like big fun?
(Claustrophobics, I hear you cringing way over here!)
Those of you who have worked with me know that I am highly skilled at moving right on out of my body and into the ether to dance with Guides and Teachers in Spirit. I thought this adventure of floating in salty water in the dark would be right up my alley. Float on, baybeee!
Nekkid me (yes, this is all done in a private space so I wasn’t scaring anyone with said nakedness) entered the chamber (shown above) and slid down into the water. Warm, nice, yes. But for some reason, my body wanted to try to control the experience and I was worried about sinking or drowning (in 2″ of water, but whatever). I tried to hold my head out of the water so my hair didn’t get too wet and I was just uncomfortable as all get out.
How am I going to last 60 minutes in this space? UGH. Can I just get out now?
Then I heard my Guides say “Trust your body to keep you safe”. No, I thought. I will do no such thing! Can’t I just float out and play on the astral plane? Please?
Nope. “Trust your body to keep you safe” they said again. (and again, and again, and again! Jeez, they are stubborn buttheads.)
So, to shut them up, I allowed the back of my head to go under the water, my hands up over my head and I laid there. My body got weirdly crampy and I wanted to get up but I heard them again saying “Trust your body to keep you safe”.
At that point, there wasn’t much else to do so I sank all the way into the warm water, fully submerged my head as much as possible (covering my ears) and surrendered to the notion that, indeed, my body WILL keep me safe.
Surrender is an interesting thing. It brings up all kinds of resistance and visions of foot-stomping and just STUFF. After a while, though, it faded and I melted into the water, feeling a lot more peaceful than when I started this adventure.
Before I knew it, the music came on to signal the end of the hour-long session and I stood up, felt for the door and opened it into the light. As I showered the ton of salt off, I felt something I have not felt very often.
I was grounded in my own body for almost the first time in my adult life. It’s a difference I have felt ever since that session. It wasn’t fleeting and it hasn’t disappeared.
It was a complete shift in how I BE in the world. And it took just one hour and my willingness to go to a scary place (literally and figuratively) to get to the other side. Who knew?
One hour really can change your whole life.
This month, Practically Intuitive turns six – I can hardly believe it’s been that long and yet, here I am! When I started offering readings in 2010, I was doing it because I was guided to and because it spoke to the part of me that wanted to support others in their personal development. (Yes, I wanted to be a therapist back in the day. That should surprise no one who knows me, right?)
As my business grew, I began training others how to do intuitive readings that were focused on being practical rather than what I considered ‘airy-fairy’ (‘your aura is pink and that means you are filled with love’ kind of thing that is nice to know but how does it help you?).
Out of that experience came the business side of Practically Intuitive. Combining 33 years of work in the financial services world with my super intuitive skills, I was able to guide those who wanted to start a business offering readings or other healing work.
All of those things came from following the next step. Setting an intention and watching for what opens up. Stepping up even when it’s scary, hiding when it’s too scary and making my way forward. If you’ve been with me a while you know that there were a lot of bumpy roads and there was even a false start with a whole new business last summer.
Whee! Entrepreneurship is fun, right??
At the end of last year, I decided it was time for a much tighter focus so you know exactly how I can help you. And that’s where “Aligned and Unleashed 2016” came from. I realized that as you’re creating a business, you also need to build a foundation that will support you through all the twists and turns.
If you’re constantly in your own way, getting out there to talk about what you do will feel like swimming through mud. If you’re not sure what you offer or how you help others, it’s worse than swimming in mud.Clarity is king. Knowing what you offer that is truly and uniquely yours and ways to take that out into the world makes it so much easier and much more fun.
“Aligned and Unleashed 2016” helps lay the important groundwork for creating a business YOUR way. There’s no ‘right way’ to do it, there’s just what works for you. (I learned that one the hard way!)
I’m excited to share this program with you because it will give you tools and processes along with specific strategies to build your business and take care of your self.Look for more information coming soon but if you want to get in on the fun earlier, click this here linky and hop on the email list.
Here’s to finding YOUR focus this year!
PS: Yep, intuitive readings are always available to you should you need some extra insight and guidance on your path. Read more about them and book yours by going here: Intuitive Readings – 30 minute sessions now open!
Confidence doesn’t come when you have all the answers. It comes when you are ready to face all the questions.
Hello and happy 2016!
I spent the past two weeks fighting off a weird bout of bronchitis and hoping it didn’t morph into pneumonia so my holidays rolled by in a haze of coughing, random sleep and Netflix. (Who else is watching “Making a Murderer”? OY!)
But before I came down with the sickness, I was feeling all sorts of lost and confused about what I was doing with Practically Intuitive. I even questioned if I should just chuck it all and go back to corporate world and sell my soul again. (And not coincidentally, guess whose old job opened up again? YEP. It did. Oh Universe, you make me giggle!)
It’s been said that being an entrepreneur brings all your junk up like nothing else. I would imagine that there are lots of things that stir the junk pot just as well. Parenthood, for example. Everything less-than-wonderful you feel about yourself can and will get dragged out in ways you can’t wrap your head around.
One of the things I know is that I didn’t study or train or anything to be the awesome Spirit Guide channel that I am. I just stepped into it when the door opened. (Yes, I took lots of classes but the basic ability was just there.) And so I have supreme confidence in my skills there. Don’t question them, don’t doubt them.
But when it came time to expand my capacities big time into the business side. even though I bring those stellar intuitive abilities with me, I got scared. What if I suck and no one is telling me? What if I’m not really helping people the way I know I can? What if, what if, what if?
And the more those voices came out, the stronger they got, like a discordant song playing over another on the radio. Soon, I couldn’t hear anything but the roar of everyone else doing it perfectly and I was not.
So, I turned off all the noise. I unsubscribed from damn near every list I was on and I stopped looking for validation OUT THERE. From clients and friends and anyone. I just stopped.
In the silence, I looked at what brings me joy, where I can truly be a contribution to someone else’s life and what was mine to do. I think being sick for almost 2 weeks helped me take that well-needed break from worrying about it and running after the answer instead of allowing it to show up.
Let me turn this toward you – are there places where you are feeling lost and confused? The answer to all of that resides within you. I can’t tell you, your bestie can’t and even Sherlock Holmes himself can’t.
Be willing to look at a couple things:
1) What is the value of keeping myself in this place? We never, ever do anything without some sort of payoff (even the crap things have a payoff) so what is the value to you of this choice? For me, staying in that space of “I’m lost and don’t know what to do now” was about being scared to move forward. Being scared to be out on my own. The longer I could stay in “I-don’t-know-land”, the less fear I had to deal with, so that’s a win, right? Hah! No.
2) Are you willing to trash it all and start again? Doesn’t mean you have to or even that it’s the best thing. But if you are willing to be open to the possibility that you can trash whatever you want and start again if you choose, more and greater choices open up. Why? Because you are willing to do what’s required in that situation even if it means chucking it all.
If the answer is within you and the choices are within you, then YOU are the key to all of it. How cool is that?
Yeah, it’s cool so don’t forget it. When you’ve lost your confidence or your mojo or whatever and you think the world doesn’t even notice you’re alive, remember that it all comes from within you. Start there and you’ll find it again.
Wishing you tons of laughter, joy and awarenesses in the coming year!
PS: I’ve got some goodies coming up in early 2016! (yey!) “Aligned and Unleashed” – because when HOW you share your gifts with the world ALIGNS with who you are, the magic (and money) you’ve been waiting for shows up!
(And you know I’ll hook you up with some special bonues and whatnot, right? Right!)